Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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