hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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