Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
PANTIES FOUND
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
