You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
