If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
