I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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