Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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