Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
