It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
