sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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