90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
