But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
