Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
