this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I deserve this hangover.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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