batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
