It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
