I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
