I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
