My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize