I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I need a beard to bite.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
