She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
pop tarts are not kleenex
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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