so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
