yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
