All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
