ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
