so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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