I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
