dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
