my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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