I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
