he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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