well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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