New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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