Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
