So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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