Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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