I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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