somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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