He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
