Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
