would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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