He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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