It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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