so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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