I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
