Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
