john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Pants are for mortals
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
