she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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