what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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