i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
