Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
