girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
