don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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