so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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