you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Houston, we have a squirter
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
