I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
