Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
