his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
