I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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