Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize