I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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