So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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