I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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